How To Be More Tolerant

Tolerance is simply accepting that another person has their own point of view, their own culture, religion, etc. Tolerance doesn't even mean that everyone's belief is true or correct. It means you and I each have the right to believe what we want, whether it is correct or not.

Remember the GOLDEN RULE: Treat others how you would like to be treated.

WARNINGS: No matter how intolerant you are, you will never change the way a person is.

THINGS YOU WILL NEED: An open mind, an open heart and understanding.


STEP ONE: Resist the impulse to reject things you don't understand.

Without challenging our thought processes, we are doomed to have the same thought processes forever!

Life becomes mundane in that case as we think we know everything. Because there’s nothing for us to learn, the world becomes a pretty predictable and boring place. We get stuck in the same thought pattern spirals over and over again, hating anything that’s different or doesn’t conform to our expectations.

This makes us a very childish and volatile person. We want everything done our way because we believe our way is the right way. As a result, we forego opportunities to improve our way and become alarmed when things don’t “happen like they’re supposed to”.

So next time this urge happens, maybe it’s a good time to think, “Hmmm… here’s an opportunity to increase my awareness and expand myself!”


STEP TWO: Listen to others carefully and Try To Understand The Other Person’s Point Of View

Once we resist the urge to reject the other person’s point of view outright, it’s time to really try to understand his perspective.

We can start by holding back our thoughts of disagreement and try to really listen to what the other person is saying. We’ll keep asking him questions until we understand precisely what he is trying to communicate and why he thinks the way he does.

This accomplishes two important things. First, we start to learn about the person and the context from which he is speaking. Once we can relate some of our experiences to that context, then the things that person does will start to make much more sense.

Second, the other person can feel that you are [[genuinely interested]] in him (because you are!) By giving him the feeling of being understood, he is now much more open to trying to understand your perspective. Once you understand and feel understood, well, what’s there not to like?


STEP THREE: Embrace the exchange of ideas!

The more you do, the more tolerant you will become. By embracing many different ideas, I simply mean to welcome the exchange of ideas. It is not necessary for us all to think, believe, or act the same. It is only necessary that we allow room for us all to think, believe, or act DIFFERENTLY.

Practice this by making a point to read and listen to new ideas and ideas that you will not agree with. When you feel the urge to get mad or walk away, remind yourself that you want to practice listening to and embracing new ideas, and make yourself stay and listen.

Don't just listen reluctantly, but listen actively and look for points of common ground. Finding these points of common ground or agreement is not so that you can agree at all costs, but so you can find a jumping off point from which to debate and express your different opinions -- that is how you embrace the exchange of ideas, instead of resigning yourself to 'allow' the other person a moment to speak but closing your mind to everything that is being said.